Anger blinds and keeps us from seeing anything good about another person or situation.
I have called people names and said things about others that felt right to my flesh at the time, but clearly was not Gods best of me in those moments. You’d think I would learn….
Certainly I’m a better version of myself today than I was years ago but just the other day I found myself busting out some old responses that left me feeling worthless and incapable of ever getting this mouth of mine under control. And that is where Christ reminded me of the truth and lie in that single sentence.
I am not worthless. No matter how many times I fail, I am created in the image of God and He has a purpose and a plan for my life. But, so does the enemy of my soul. The lie the enemy whispers over and over that I’ll never get it right so why try! Gods response is where the truth resides. I cannot get my mouth, anger, hurts or anything else under control until I let go of that control to Him. It is Christ’s Spirit that lives in me that tames my tongue, soothes my hurts and calms my anger.
Christ has taught me to endure an uncomfortable situation for the sake of another and offer grace whenever possible. He has also taught me to become aware of the warning signs in my body that tell me to remove myself from an unhealthy situation “before” I start busting out some old anger move or verbally damage the other person.
Yeah, I’m still working out the “before” part, and quite honestly there is still a person or two that can easily take me from 0 to 100 on the emotional anger scale in seconds. These are the people I pray for daily (as well as myself) because I react to them like a caged animal thats fighting for emotional survival. It’s because I’ve cared deeply for them that I subconsciously offer them access past my warning signs.
Anger comes from deep emotional hurts that need to be turned over to Christ daily. On any level, a less than graceful reaction calls scripture to my mind and in particular Matthew 5:22. Even verse 25 & 26 says the consequences of not dealing with anger quickly and humbling myself will always have a poorer outcome in the long run.
Becoming the woman God has called me to be requires a certain sacrifice of the flesh and a giving up of temper tantrums. I’ll not always understand the motives of others, but neither is a woman of God called to judge them. If I didn’t cause it, I can’t cure it and certainly I no longer want to contribute to it. “It” being anything in my life that is less than edifying to Christ.
Anger binds ugly to ugly and hurt to hurt. Stopping the cycles of self loathing and choosing to LIVE in Christ takes commitment.
When history looks back at my life, what glory of God will it see? I hope it sees just the shadow of a hurt, sinful, broken girl, who one day gave her life to Christ and was transformed into a glorious light of His Amazing Grace.
In reaching for a Christ life as my goal, I not only honor myself, but others along the way.
~C